Imagine, if you will, a website that streamlines every conceivable service, a place that is elegant and intuitive. A website where every moment spent utilizing it is further evidence of a single, underlying truth: this will soon be a household name, as ubiquitous as refrigerators and as vital as clean water. The sort of thing you would imagine if you heard that Zombo.com had finally, after all these years, delivered on its promises.

This is not that website.

I invite you to instead imagine a sloppily curated, poorly organized amalgamation of writing containing the ravings of a mentally ill transgender lesbian. A place that combines idiotic premises with raw emotion, that explores vulnerability with both whimsy and struggle, and that also has the ice cream story, if you were looking for that.

That is closer to this website.

Feel free to like, subscribe and comment so I can figure out how to disable those features even more aggressively than I already have.